Friday, August 30, 2013

Fractured Fairy Tales: The Little Mermaid Part 2

So I lied. I thought that I would be able to wrap up the Little Mermaid story this week, but two pages in I discovered that it just wasn't going to happen. Never fear though I do have more of the story, just not an ending yet! From now on I'll know better than to tell people how many parts my story is before I have finished said story.


Stop! If you missed part one go here first: http://daniduckart.blogspot.ca/2013/08/fractured-fairy-tale-fridays-little.html

The Little Mermaid: Part 2

Excerpt from last week: Lydia looked him up and down. He was strong, handsome and had a beautiful smile. This had to be the man she was going to fall in love with! The man gave Lydia his shirt and then carried her to his home.

A man in a suit was waiting for them when they arrived. “Not another one, Herman!”

Herman, as she now knew his name, frowned at his butler. “But she was lost and alone, weren't you.” Lydia opened up her mouth to talk, but nothing came out. “See? She's just like the others. A mute woman who lost her bikini bottom at sea! She needs our help Giles!”

Giles sighed, “Very well sir.”

Herman carried Lydia up the stairs led by Giles. They entered a large room. Giles turned to Lydia and said, “In the wardrobe you'll find any clothes your heart desires. There seems to be an over abundance of half naked women on our beach. We've collected hundreds of dresses over the years. These women seem to disappear as quickly as they come - leaving behind every bit of clothing we buy for them. We'll leave you now to get changed.”

Through the closed door Lydia could hear Herman and Giles talking as they walked away. “She's the one, Giles, the woman I'm going to marry!”

“You say that every time, Herman.”

“But this time I mean it!”

“Very well, sir.”

Lydia was excited. Maybe she had at last found the love of her life. Lydia wasn't sure what a wardrobe or a dress was, but she didn't hesitate to explore the room. There were many large holes in the wall where Lydia could look outside. She tried a couple of times to go outside through them, but there was an invisible walk holding her back. There was a large bed in the middle of the room, not completely unlike her bed at home. Lydia got into it and found that it was soft and moved like soft waves. She suspected there was water inside and made a note to find a way to get into the water.

Along the wall farthest from the entrance was a huge wooden contraption. Lydia ran her fingers across it and found that she could easily open the contraption. She was not prepared for what she found inside. There were glorious things hung within sparkling with every colour imaginable. Lydia ran her fingers over these items and found that they were soft and luxurious. She pulled down as many as she could and decided that these were the “dresses” in the “wardrobe” that Giles told her about. “Oh what lovely things these are!” Thought Lydia, “In the sea we only have shells for covering. I don't know how I lived before today!” Lydia set forth trying on everything in the wardrobes. Some of it had tricky fastenings, but she soon figured out how to properly wear a dress. In the end Lydia had tried on every dress until she settled on one in a nice emerald green. There were a few things in this wardrobe that Lydia couldn't figure out so she figured these were best left. She then left the room in search of her future husband.

No sooner had she left the room but Giles caught her arm. “I see that you have finally finished trying on gowns. Now let us eat.” Giles lead her into a grand room with a large table. It reminded Lydia of the feasts her father would prepare. She took her seat and was shocked to find things exactly as they had been at home. The food, plates and even the silverware was so familiar that Lydia couldn't help but be a bit disappointed.

Giles looked towards Lydia. "I forgot to ask your name”

Lydia opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. She pointed at her throat indicating she couldn't talk.

“I see you have lost your voice.” Giles turned to Herman, “These women you find never have voices, do they?”

Herman looked slightly perturbed, “Many of them did have voices. Some were blind, some deaf, one woman couldn't taste any of the food. Remember her, Giles? She was always complaining about the food!” Herman let out a deep and bellowing laugh. “Good times my friend, good times!”

Giles sighed, “It seems as though the lady didn't find any shoes to her liking.”

Herman was abashed. “We had nothing to your liking my dear? Well I will take you to the market tomorrow!”

“They call them malls now, sir. You have a meeting in the morning so it seems as though I will be taking her.” Giles sighed even louder than the last time.

“Cheer up old friend, for soon I will be married.”

Lydia smiled and clapped her hands. Everything was going perfectly. Giles left them after dinner and Lydia and Herman exited to what he called the “courtyard”. This courtyard seemed very much to be a large garden with many walkways. Herman lead Lydia to a bench and sang a lovely song to her. He then plucked the most beautiful flower Lydia had ever seen from the garden and gave it to Lydia. He then bent into kiss her. The weight of the two of them together seemed to be too much, because instead of a kiss, Lydia found herself on the ground with Herman on top of her. He lingered but a second, and then arose to his feet. He helped Lydia up to her feet.

“Never mind this minor tragedy, for tomorrow you will go to the market and have all your flaws removed! Herman smiled brightly and escorted Lydia inside.

The Sea Witch had not at all left Lydia's love life to chance. She was at this very moment watching Lydia's every move through her crystal bubble ball. “What is it with these stupid girls and their super human abilities to get men to fall in love with them! This Herman has been a pain in my backside for far too long. I will have to take care of him myself, and thanks to Lydia's lovely voice he will have no choice but to fall in love with me tomorrow! The echoing of the Sea Witches laughter was heard buy fish and merfolk from miles away.



The Business of Creating a Business

I've been working for a while now to set up a shop on Etsy. Anyone who is doing this should know that it's tougher than it actually seems! It's not like I didn't know at all what I was getting into.

A little background on me: I spent a lot of my youth and young adult time learning and helping out with my parent's businesses. My parents did flea markets, garage sales, and owned their own second hand shop for a time. I learned a lot from them during this time. Even after I stopped helping them out I've done a lot to learn about the business of owning a business. I've had a few small business ventures of my own, taken classes in marketing, and have read more books than you can shake at.

I'm use to the business practices of Ohio (in the US) and not of British Columbia Canada. There isn't a huge learning curve, but there is a lot for me to learn! There is a lot to know about getting your business name/license (which doesn't seem to apply to me right now). There is still so much for me left to do! My biggest problem right now is figuring out shipping costs from Canada to wherever I need to send. It can be really expensive to mail things here (especially compared to the US).

I'm hoping to get my shop open within the next few days, but I hope everyone isn't too disappointed if it's not set up right away! I am available for custom work in any case and likely I will not be using Etsy for this. If you would like a custom Illustration, Portrait or other request done please don't hesitate to contact me! Quotes are absolutely free so drop me a line. If there is something you want that I don't have listed yet (prints, originals, or colouring books) please contact me on the 31st and I should be able to sell to you directly. Even if my Etsy shop is not open in a few days I will have the ability to charge via Paypal, which isn't the same but it's a big step in the right direction!

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

What's Up Wednesday!

I've been busy, busy, busy lately! I've almost got my colouring book ready for print. With any luck I will be able to send it out for print tonight so I can get it in my shop for Saturday! I'm a bit worried about the cost of printing/shipping. Living in Canada so the shipping cost is pretty expensive (cost me $5 to mail out 6 mini books to a friend in the States). Hopefully I can find a good middle ground for price. I'm 20 minutes from the border, so it may make sense to ship it in the States.

What I'm Reading

Not much right now. Mostly tweets and facebook postings. I'll be able to "rest" a bit once I get my Etsy shop up and will read then.

What I'm Writing/Drawing 

Some of my drawings for my colouring book were underwhelming, so I went in and reworked about 14 of the drawings then. I just have to plunk them into InDesign (maybe add a bit of text to some pages) and send them off for an initial printing. If all goes well I'll be able to send out Ashley's copy by Monday. Congrats again to you. You can see the really annoying contest announcement here: http://daniduckart.blogspot.ca/2013/08/and-winner-is.html

I may work on another colouring book soon, but I think I'll see how these do before I go gung ho on another project. I may just use my drawing time to do some portraits.

Every Day Possible
- Make things to sell in my Etsy shop cause I don't have anything done.
- Tell people more things on the interwebs.

Today 8/28
- Write my What's Up Wednesday post today - done
- Finish up my InDesign layout of "The Pattern Pals" colouring book
- Start critiquing manuscripts

Thursday 8/29
- Price and add 1 thing to Etsy Shop (probably prints)
- Sketching portraits

Friday 8/30
- Colouring at least one portrait

Saturday 8/31
- Do something super awesome.
- Make sure Etsy Store is open.
- Have all of the manuscript's I've received critiqued. 

Sunday 8/25
- Do something

Monday 8/26
- Work on some serious art stuff!

Tuesday 8/27

- Post at least 1 painting/drawing to this blog by this date.
- Blog Review!

Wednesday 8/28

- Write my What's Up Wednesday post 

What Inspires Me Right Now

Colouring books, because they're awesome!
What Else I've Been Up To

Baby Minding 
Still no sleep from toddler. Hopefully things will get back to semi normal soon!

Working Out/Being Healthy 
I might do this.

Ect.
Still working on surviving while my husband works extra shifts!


*What's up Wednesday is part of Jamie Morrow's summer writing intensive: "Ready. Set. WRITE!" There are other host blogs including: Erin L. Funk, Alison Miller, Katy Upperman, and Elodie Nowodazkij.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

And the Winner Is...

I am really sorry that I didn't get this post up earlier. I didn't quite finish before I picked up my son from the baby sitter's and then when David got home he didn't want to come inside! Took me an hour to get him in, and then I had to make supper. He's eating a cupcake now. Well I'm glad I got this post up tonight anyway.


What's that? You want me to stop fooling around and post the winner? You people always thinking about you, you, you! Never once thinking about me! I mean it's my colouring book and you came up with my title, so the... um oh you were thinking of me when you helped out. 

Before I announce the winner I just want to say a great big thank you to everyone who entered, posted and got the word out about this contest. I was really worried there were only going to be a couple of entries, silly me. The winner will have to contact me right away (by email, Personal Message on Facebook, or on Twitter). with your name (if not given), and full mailing address. I will send you a signed copy of the colouring book and a mini colouring book just as soon as I get it printed!

My husband chose the winner for this, and I think he did a good job. The following is the cover, though I may do a bit more painting on it before it's finalized. What? I'm dragging this out on purpose? You're darn right I am! It's funnier that way. With very little further ado, here is the winner: 
















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Monday, August 26, 2013

Contest Announcement Tomorrow!

I know everyone is excited to see who won the Colouring Book Naming Contest, but a winner has not been chosen yet! I will be printing the list without names tonight and will announce sometime tomorrow. I'm hoping to have the colouring book cover done tomorrow and will post the finished painting here afterward along with the winner. Depending how the day goes tomorrow I may or may not post about another blog. I'm just as excited as everyone else to see which name is picked. Please double check this list to see if your suggestion is on it (if you entered). I think I have all the titles, but if not please message me ASAP. Twitter or Facebook is best for this. My Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/duckgal or my Twitter https://twitter.com/DaniDuck I will see either these right away on my phone, so use whatever works best for you. If you contacted me on any social media your entry does count, so just let me know what you used to enter.


List of Entries:


Creatures of the Nth Dimension

Lovable Monsters of the Nth Dimension

Geeshlings from the Planet Goover
Geeshlings-Ducklings-Babies of Dani Duck, and Planet Goover-Vancouver.

Shifty Shapetors 

Daffy Doodles

Quirkies or Quirklies

Monster Mania Colouring Book

M. Body Mints* 

M. Body Menz*

The Mega Doodle Monsters

The Mighty Shape Shifters

The Pattern Pals

A Melody of Monsters

Monster Maniacs

Shapely Monsters

*M. stands for Monster


Saturday, August 24, 2013

Contest Reminder

Man it's been a busy week for me, what about for you? I've lost all track of time and I'm down to the last two days for my Colouring Book Naming Contest. You can see all the info here: http://daniduckart.blogspot.ca/2013/08/contest-annoucement.html I've compiled a list of all the names I've gotten so far. If your suggestion is not on the list please let me know! I have not ruled anyone out. This list will be given to my husband without any relating names (I don't think he knows anyone who entered, but still) and he'll have full control over which person wins. I do not want to have any influence over this, because I don't want the chance of adding bias.

The following list is in order of when I received each entry (more or less). If he doesn't like any of the entries as is he may combine them or change them slightly to make them work (though I think there are some great names already). I'll announce the winner by tuesday at the latest. Enter now you have until Midnight Sunday (if it's Sunday anywhere in the world you're okay for entry as I wont finish compiling the list until Monday morning).

Possible Titles:

Creatures of the Nth Dimension

Lovable Monsters of the Nth Dimension

Geeshlings from the Planet Goover
Geeshlings-Ducklings-Babies of Dani Duck, and Planet Goover-Vancouver.

Shifty Shapetors 

Daffy Doodles

Quirkies or Quirklies

Monster Mania Colouring Book

M. Body Mints* 

M. Body Menz*

The Mega Doodle Monsters

The Mighty Shape Shifters

The Pattern Pals

A Melody of Monsters

Monster Maniacs

Shapely Monsters

*M. stands for Monster

Friday, August 23, 2013

Fractured Fairy Tale Fridays: The Little Mermaid

I've decided that Fridays will be from hereforth: Fractured Fairy Tale Fridays. I will continue this until I run out of stories, everyone tells me to stop or I get bored of such an arrangement. These stories aren't for young children, but will be minimally offensive so if a child does read it they will hopefully not be scarred for life. These tales are senseless, haphazardly written and will likely destroy everything you love about your favorite fairy tales. I am so sorry for this, but it must be done. Without further ado, here is the first part of my version of "The Little Mermaid":

The Little Mermaid (Part 1)

Retold by Dani Duck

Once there was a beautiful mermaid named Lydia. She had silky long black hair, glowing ivory skin, manicured nails and knew she had a rocking hot body. Being the daughter of the sea king she had everything she ever wanted... well everything but a good merman. Though she was absolutely gorgeous she found it incredibly hard to find a good man. Lydia had one flaw that was keeping her from her dream: she had a terrible voice. I mean her voice was so bad that it made the sound of nails across the chalkboard seem pleasant.

Lydia would often spend her evenings in the bubble tea bar, and would have a lot of luck with mermen buying her bubble tea. The problem would always come when she would open her mouth to talk. Sometimes she was able to avoid speaking, but invariability the merman would say something funny (or something she was socially obligated to laugh at), and it would be all over after that. The merman ears would start bleeding, he'd start screaming and swim out of the bubble tea bar as fast as his legs could carry him. “Every single night!” She said to herself. “I can't seem to catch a break.”

Catching a break was exactly what she did. One night as she was leaving the bar cold and alone she saw a sign, “Wanted: Voices in Exchange For Legs. Leave Your Wet and Washed Up Life and Spend Some Time On The Warm Sand! Let the Sea Witch Make Your Dreams Come True!*” in smaller letters below was written “*Must find love within 24 hours of exchange.”*Below that she read, “** Mermaids with lobster friends need not apply”

Lydia beamed brightly, “That's it!” She squealed in delight, “That's exactly what I need!” Lydia rushed home to pack her things. She wrote a note for her family that she was going to the surface. Later, when reading the note, everyone was secretly relieved to have Lydia's voice out of their lives.

The Sea Witches' house wasn't what Lydia expected. It wasn't a small cave, but instead a grandiose castle made from woven living sea plants that looked familiar. Lydia ignored the plants and burst through the front door. “Usually one knocks before entering a home, especially when it's the home of the Sea Witch!”

 Lydia was so impressed with the decor that she couldn't find the words to answer. Everywhere she looked there was furniture that was gold, gilded and covered in gems. Lydia immediately began to admire the painting of a radiant mermaid who was in the process of turning other mermaids into plants. “I see you have good tastes, so I'll let it go this time.” This time Lydia turned to see her host. The radiant mermaid that was in the painting was standing before her!

“I take it you're here to exchange your voice for a pair of legs.” Awed by the radiant mermaid Lydia could only nod. “Once the change takes place you'll have 24 hours to find your true love. If you don't you'll belong to me. Do you understand these terms?” Lydia nodded. “Alright then, sign here.”

As soon as Lydia put the pen to paper she could feel a change take place in her body. She blacked out and when she came to she was lying on the beach. She looked down and saw that her lovely tail had been replaced by the strangest things she'd ever seen. She didn't know what to expect when she signed that paper, but it hadn't been this! She also noticed that she had some parts that she never had before. “Strange,” she thought. The man in front of her must have thought the same thing, because he was staring.

“The waters here aren't really good for swimming, you know. Women are always losing their bikini bottoms in this part of the ocean!”


Lydia looked him up and down. He was strong, handsome and had a beautiful smile. This had to be the man she was going to fall in love with! The man gave Lydia his shirt and then carried her to his home.

End Part 1
________

Please come back next week for the second and final part of "The Little Mermaid".